the weight is almost over

So, after a year and a third of dieting and losing three and a half/four stones (depending on when I count from), it's now six weeks until I get measured for my dress and have to maintain my weight until the wedding.

So it's going to be an interesting six weeks, when I absolutely hammer the exercise and, bearing in mind that I have a hen night and a wedding during this time, kick the ass of the plan as much as humanly possible.

But the fact remains - even if I lose at a stonking rate during this period - say 2-3lbs a week (and I don't lose that fast, generally) - I may look much like this when I get married. I certainly won't be the dainty sylph that I had initially thought I would be, however unlikely that might have actually been (I am not dainty ever - I doubt I magically would be at 11 stones)

If I manage to lose 2lbs a week between now and then, which is not impossible, I will have lost almost another stone and be squarely a size 14 which I know looks good on my frame. It also puts me at 'bikini point' - the time when I can wear a bikini without feeling like a large pasty Michelin (wo)man in swimwear. So I would be OK with that.

But if I lose 1lb a week between now and then - I'll look much the same - I will be a 14-16. A great improvement from the size 24 I was, no doubt. But still. I really need to come to terms with this.

three stones

(source)

So, in the final Slimming World weigh in before Christmas, I hit a milestone. Or a mile-three-stone, as you may have guessed from the genius image above. It's funny, reading back to things like this post, when I'd just lost one stone, and thinking back to those first few weeks when I felt sure it wasn't going to work because everyone around me was losing at double the speed.

Truth be told, I'd hoped to be at four stones gone by now, but I am very happy to have hit three. I'd aimed for 1lb a week, making four stones in a year, but life does sometimes get in the way. But I lost this weight still going out for meals, still drinking, still enjoying myself, still eating bread, potatoes, rice and pasta, as well as all other foods. This now means that I've become a mad evangalist for Slimming World. Every time I hear about someone doing some daft diet I just want to shake them and tell them about doing it sensibly. But people won't believe you can do it without hardship, no matter what you tell them.

My aim is now to be 12-stones something by the time I look for a dress. That's another two stones or so off. I'm supposed to do it by March. Wish me luck...

one and a half

So last night at slimming club, I lost 1.5lbs. This also meant that I got my 1.5 stone award, hooray!

Let's break those figures down shall we...

That's something like a quarter of the way there. Or at least, a quarter of the way to the point where I've told myself I can start looking at dresses.

That's 21.5lbs lost (I'm half a lb into the next half a stone)

In 3.5lbs I will have lost 10 per cent of my starting body weight.

And in kilos, I've lost 9.75.

I know I've still got a long way to go, but this is pretty cheering.

dieting

Grr. The past two weeks have been slooow on the diet. I've just lost half a pound each week, which, while of course two tiny steps in the right direction, is frustratingly slow. A fortnight ago, I was 2lbs off having lost a stone and a half. I though I'd crack it in a week. Now I am still 1lb off it, goddamnit. I should be past there by now.

You know I'm doing Slimming World, and it really is the best diet (they say it's not a diet, it's a way of eating, but it gets a bit tiresome saying that all the time though it is true), and on their website, there's a place to fill in your weight loss every week. This generates a graph which shows you when you might expect to reach certain targets (and your main target weight). Two weeks ago, mine had me at target in March next year. Now it says November: AFTER the wedding.

I know the graph fluctuates all the time but I am feeling very frustrated right now. Planning on drastically upping my salad intake this week as a result. Pfft.

another two

I forgot to say: another 2lbs off this week on the diet.

Another 2lbs next week = a stone and a half. (approx a quarter of the way there).

diet update

Half a pound off on the old diet this week. Not great, but not bad. Every little helps...

two

A better week this week on the old slimming plan. Two pounds off. Slow and steady...

oh well

This week in slimming:

1lb on

Oh dear. But also: this is not a straight road down a hill. It has speedbumps on the way. This was a one such. It wasn't caused by chocolate eggs, sadly. Just one of those things.

(This is a scone. I had one this week. But with no cream and it was all counted. I'm not sure a single scone can weigh 1lb but it was nice.)

the other countdown

I guess it's not unusual for a bride to be to want to slim down for a wedding.

But then I'm not sure if losing 7-8 stones classes as 'slimming down'. That makes it sound as if your jeans are a bit too tight or you have a slight 'upper arm' issue. Anyway, slimming down, becoming unobese; that's me: currently trying to lose something between a third and a half of my body weight.

(It feels weird talking about 'body weight'. As if it's not part of me - which I guess is how you're supposed to think about it. As not part of you - something you aren't attached to in any way. Not 'my body weight'.)

But anyway.

I don't have any problems with anyone being any size they like. But it's been a while since I liked my size.

Not that I had daily problems with it, or ever whinged to other people (other than bf, who always bore the brunt of bad changing room experiences). In fact, most of the time I thought I looked fine (a sort of reversal of those thin people always complaining that they're fat, if that doesn't sound too crazy.) I know I carry ,myself ok and still have a waist and I know that has allowed me to get away with a lot. But then, you get a spate of photographs and you can't blame it on the camera angle any more. In fact, you get pretty angry and sad and disappointed and frustrated.

It might sound strange, but it's taken me a year to reach this point. 'This point' being me, actually doing this, at a slimming club, already having lost a bit and accepting that 'this' really isn't 'curvy' any more. (I love curves, I'm definitely keeping them.)

Last year, I tried to do it on my own. I managed to lose half a stone, but needless to say, without a framework for how I should be eating, it didn't really work. It didn't stay off, though exercise helped. I did get a lot fitter: started seeing a trainer, going to pilates, swimming again. That was a good decision.

So anyway. As it sometimes seems pretty damn huge and difficult, I sometimes might talk about this here.

And really, this entire post has been a way to distract myself from the bag of sweets on the office table.