(This is in response to the lovely Glasgow Bride's post here. This was originally a comment until I realised it was ludicrously long...)
It's funny - until I actually got proposed to, I had honestly never devoted more than a nanosecond's thought to the issue of what my wedding woud be like, if I ever had one. All I knew was what it wouldn't be like (ie. the family ones I'd been to in the past: church, reception in a golf club/hotel and all the trappings that comes with it).
As soon as I realised I would be in fact, having a wedding, I bought four wedding magazines (which mostly made me feel the same as the family weddings - ie - not for me, and then got a pad of paper. I wrote down some of the following regarding the reception (we already knew that we wouldn't get married in a church but that's another story):
outdoors
farm?
near water?
fun - bunting
nice food
lots of good booze
and then under a separate column, wrote a 'no' list, containing things like: wedding/conference venue/birdie song/people having to do stuff they don't like and diamante.
BF agreed, adding that he wanted a hog roast and proper beer (ale) and that was it. That's all we decided we wanted. This meant the list of things that became superfluous/optional then became a lot bigger: bridesmaids, colour schemes, flowergirls, big dresses etc etc.
I'm pretty sure I'm sticking to that. If all else fails, that's all I give a damn about. Though I don't think there's much water at the venue, there is a pond. But that bit I could let go. That and a nice ceremony - which is something we're almost decided on...
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You are so right, once the few really important things are tied down and agreed, everything else seems to fall into place and you don't mind compromising quite so much.
ReplyDeleteI also completely agree on the conference centre type venue (I've avoided writing about my venue rules for fear of offending people!) - one thing that was hugely important to us was that the wedding wasn't one of many happening on the same weekend. I would hate to feel like we were just part of a wedding conveyor belt.
Completely right. I must add - I'm not judging people who have colour schemes or want to get married in a posh hotel or in a golf club. It's just not me. Different strokes for different folks. Different things that matter. I don't get offended when people tell me that they like that sort of place and hate the thought of getting married on a farm (with real farm animals running about) - you do what feels right, whatever that is. But that's what the blogs (or at least this blog) are here for I guess! No judging, just opinions...
ReplyDeleteI struggle to colour-coordinate my own clothing most mornings, so an entire wedding would quite possibly be beyond me. I like being outdoors and I like fresh air and I don't mind rain. So that's what we're gonna do. If you like cities and not getting muddy, that's cool too. If you like the 1960s or the colour blue and want that in a wedding then that's your bag. There is no right way, right?
Oi what is wrong with blue? (other than the fact that there are very few blue flowers and I didn't realise that automatically and until the silk for the bridesmaid dresses was chosen).
ReplyDeleteI don't think I ever really dreamed about my wedding as a child as I had no idea what the groom was going to be like and I don't think you can really plan a wedding until you have a groom or how does it reflect you both?
Hangon hangon - I said there was nothing wrong with anything in that list! I love blue and had contemplated getting married in a blue dress until bf expressed his dislike of the idea. It was just a colour I picked as an example with no meaning behind it. There is nothing wrong with having a colour scheme or not having one. There is no right way! And the blue dress thing completely supports your second point - it's both of you getting married and both of you have to decide what you want and what matters to you.
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