straightening out

I feel a few things need straightening out after the blog posts and responses of the past few days. I fear I am inadvertently starting to offend people and the thought that I have is upsetting.

First thing: nothing I say on here is any sort of judgement on anyone else. Different things matter to different people. I like blue (love it) and I like co-ordinated flowers and table themes and I like nice hotels. We just wanted to get married on a farm (the boy wanted a hog roast and ale, which = farm) and I'm not so fussed about co-ordinating colours (too indecisive to be honest). I'm not trying to offend anyone else when I say these things. I'm just saying them, as I'd tell a friend. And you know, it's early days - I'm just trying to figure out things for myself too.

When family members got married and these things were present, the weddings were beautiful. All weddings are beautiful. And all weddings are different. And nothing anyone likes or does not like is a judgement on anyone else.

I'm a firm believer that there is no 'right' way to do this. It's just nice that it (ie marriage) happens at all, in any which way. Which is why I like reading wedding blogs, because I feel that those sentiments are generally accepted in this world.

However you want to get wed is your choice. And expressing a preference or aversion to something or other is of course no judgement on anyone else. We don't all have to love or understand everything. We're only human. You might thing getting married on a farm is a bit grubby. You're probably right, but it doesn't put me off.

We don't live in a perfect world where everyone agrees. My mum and partner want me to wear a white (or white-ish) dress (when I thought I'd like a blue one like this) and I thought I might keep my name, but I've decided otherwise on both counts because it matters to people important to me and I can square it with myself (posts for another day, perhaps). But if some bird on a blog suggests she might do things one way, it's no judgement on those of you that want to do them another. In the same way, if you have an expensive wedding, you don't look down on the cheap ones. Cheap wedding people don't get to feel superior to the people who choose to splurge. Your money, your wedding, your choice.

But you pick your battles, and sometimes things other people say have an impact though I hope mine are never hurtful. But on blogs, where we share our thoughts, surely nothing is right or wrong? Apart from being mean and I hope I'm never that.