dress shopping - round two

The second dress shopping experience last week could not have been less like the first. Obviously there were some similarities - I stood around in my pants quite a bit and I tried on some big white things and ended up surprisingly tired - but really, that was is.

I went to two FANTASTIC shops in London - please forgive me if I don't post names here but I am suffering with a great deal of guilt about how amazingly helpful they were given I am not going to be buying a dress. I had to go shopping - I had no choice, but I don't need to rub it in anyone's face.

The customer service was absolutely second to none and I will hopefully be assuaging some guilt by returning to both for accessories and by recommending them to you good people. DM me on Twitter or email me if you want the info.

I will write a post listing their names in a few weeks/months, when any soreness they may feel if they see their names up here now may have subsided.

I had expected less from London shops - my first bad experience and testimonies from friends had told me that shops oop north were friendlier and shops in London were hoity toity, pushy and unhelpful. I could not have been more wrong. The shops up north were perfunctory and pedestrian. The shops in London put a lot more effort in and tried a lot harder - accessorising dresses that I had initially dismissed in a way that made me utterly rethink my choices.

It's dangerous to generalise about a region being this way or that, but we mentioned this disparity in one of the shops and it led to a discussion about how you can't get away with crap service in London. Look at the plethora of amazing cheap restaurants - competition means you have to be good. Anyway, this is a sideline.

What made it so different was two things: the different standard of dresses and the different standard of service. I was helped in and out of dresses a lot more (I was even offered bridal underwear to try dresses on with in one shop) and properly dressed. Despite my fears about being seen in my pants, this 'dressing' was a very good thing. A good dress shop will make judicious use of ribbons, pins and side panels to make a dress that is two or three sizes too small look beautiful - and look like it fits. They will also show you how the dress will look finished - add ribbons, flowers, straps, suggest you put your hair up and then pin a veil on - in a way that made this more of an experience. I stood on a box and was coo-ed over. It was quite nice to feel nice in the dresses.

Up north, I was left to my own devices. Here I was properly attended to. It made something I was wary about into actually, dare I say, a really pleasurable day.

So if you want some straight up advice about buying dresses then here are my TOP TIPS, kids.

1. Do not plan to visit too many shops in one day. I did two on each day - four shops in total. If you know they have dresses you like then this is more than enough. I was so shattered after each day (you spend the whole thing standing up) that two is more than enough. Plan a nice lunch inbetween.

2. Do not take too many people with you. Two is optimum and make sure they are honest. Also, if everyone brought five people then the shops would not be a nice quiet reflective place. They would be a zoo.

3. Listen to the ladies in the shop. If they are good, they will tell you what to try on and what to avoid. You will probably, if you're like me, ignore them and want to try on some things that are wrong anyway. Then you will learn that they are right.

4. That said, do try on some different things. Some shops will keep giving you strapless meringue after strapless meringue. Look for different styles.

5. Nice underwear. Seam free white pants, sturdy white bra with removable straps.

6. Try to go on a weekday for at least one of the trips. You will get a quieter shop with much better service and it feels a bit more of an event. I enjoyed this feeling more than I expected to.

7. Squat. When you put on a dress and you think you like it, try having a little squat or sit down (there probably won't be a chair, so squat). Can you breathe? Do you feel a bit sick? If you think this is 'the one' - then try to keep the dress on for a few minutes and move around in it; don't just stand there gazing at yourself. You will have to wear this thing for many hours. If you're hitching it up and sweating after 10 minutes then maybe rethink.

8. Do not do what I did and leave it until the last minute. Go sooner rather than later. You can always go again. It focuses your mind somewhat. Even if you think you can't go because you're a size 18 or 16 (as I did) - ignore the little doubting voice in your mind. There are shops that will stock dresses for you. Find them and go.

wedding dress shopping knickers

Due to unforseen circumstances, my first round of dress shopping has been brought forwards to this weekend. So I have to get over my heebie jeebies pretty damned quick now.

Do you know what's just dawned on me? That in dress shops, you are dressed. Ie: other people physically put you into the clothes. And this means: new underwear. Emergency purchasing of new pants. If my mum saw the best bra and pants now there's a fair chance she could disown me for bringing shame on the family. For some reason, these things matter to mums. Or to mine, at least.

Why does no wedding magazine ever warn you of this? Surely this is of more concern to most people than the suitability of a sweetheart neckline. Cosmo Bride dress buying top tip number 24: STRANGERS WILL SEE YOUR PANTS!

Oh and we have to tell The Man (ie, the council) that we're getting married on Friday. We're really doing this, kids!

dress shopping

Even though I was lucky enough to win my wedding dress, I must be one of the only engaged ladies in the world who hasn't at least tried one of the blooming things on. Ever. And because I'll need to know what to ask for from the lovely people who will make it, I'm definitely going to have to go dress shopping.

Except I think there must be something wrong with me. After a bad first experience in a dress shop, I thought I'd got over it - I would only go to nice shops. But visiting two of these stores with their kind and helpful staff the other day - and not even trying on a dress - brought me out in an almost physical panic.

So last weekend, I took the first steps down the road of mental preparation for dress shopping. I booked some appointments at a couple of shops for a few weeks' time and then, with my Mum, went into a couple of different shops to browse.

The second I walked in to shop number one, I had an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach, It was as if I was about to go on stage, aged seven, for my debut as a snowflake in the school play. It was so close to excitement - those lovely butterflies - but it wasn't nice.

The place was a bunfight - people were hauling dresses from racks, cramming themselves into unforgiving gold satin bridesmaid frocks and cooing, all of them cooing. In the whole shop, there might have been two dresses that I could have envisaged myself wearing - the rest just made me feel odd, a little bit sweaty and shaky. I felt slightly queasy.

In the second store, the room had four special corners, like stages, where brides could stand in their large white confections and stare at themselves in a dozen angled mirrors simultaneously. One girl was standing there, on the verge of tears, surrounded by middle-aged relatives who were all asking again and again, "Is this the one, d'y'think? Is it? Is this the one?' She just kept dumbly nodding and squeaking.

I left feeling wobbly. I've got to deal with the fact that there is a day booked soon when I will be the one in the dress. I really want that day to be fun. I really need to get over this.

definitely going to love my dress

If you've arrived here from Love My Dress today then welcome!

Today I have officially been announced as the winner of the Love My Dress and House of Mooshki competition to win a dream wedding dress - made to any design I like.

I still can't believe it - I am over the moon and feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Thank you Love My Dress and House of Mooshki! More updates to follow...

crappy dress shopping experience

(image from here)

So you know I'm losing weight. Part of this - or rather, the end aim of this, is that I want to be a certain weight before I start looking for a wedding dress.

Currently, I've got a little way to go, but I'd hope to be at this weight by next spring, which is six months ahead, though it might be later.

So yesterday, I decided to ask in my local bridal shop: how late can you leave it to buy a dress. See, I don't know what I'm doing here, and I figure they might.

I walked in - there was an 'open' sign on the door, after all, and I just had a little question.

At the end of the shop were assistants helping a lady into a giant dress. But there were many assistants - maybe about 8 - and only four of them were doing anything (cooing over the bride to be, mostly).

Four of them were just standing there. And then I walked in, and the bell rang on the door, and they continued to stand there loking at me.

After about 10 seconds of staring at me like I'd dared swear in front of the Pope or performed a dance dressed as a dog turd, one of them came down to me.

"Yes???"

"Hi there. I'm getting married next year and I just wondered how long in advance I should be buying a dress. I'd heard six months, but does it really need to be so long?"

BLANK STARE.

Another assistant comes over, clearly incredibly annoyed that I have dared enter the shop.

"Yes????"

I repeat the question. Her answer:

"Yes. It has to be six months. If you want your Dream Dress." She definitely capitalised it. And now she clearly considers the matter closed.

"What happens if you have less than six months?"

"Well they you might not get your Dream Dress. You might have to wear one of these, which only come in certain sizes [casting a glance up and down my still-buxom frame] and other people will have worn them."


So anyway. I have yet to try on a wedding dress and one toxic shop has already soured the experience.

I probably won't be buying my dress there.