genuinely alternative first dance wedding songs

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Wow, we really, really cannot decide on a first dance song. In a way, it's a nice situation to be in. We can't decide because we love music so much. Our CD and digital music collection is immense and grows often weekly, sometimes by rather a large number. Thank god we got plenty of iTunes vouchers for Christmas and there is wonderful record shop near where I work (though they are part of the reason we (uh, I) buy too much music).

Anyway. Any of the following could very much still be our first dance song, but I thought you might appreciate the list of the rather more unusual choices that are under consideration, in case you're in the market for something similar yourself or would just like to listen to some lovely tracks.

So. Our first dance song was always (from about two years after we got together) going to be Pulp - 'Something Changed'. Then something did change, and we this song slightly receded into second place. I also had an issue with the line: "would I be singing this song to someone else instead?" though J maintained it was fine. It could still be fine - it could still be the song.

I had a short phase of wanting Elbow 'Starlings' but it isn't really a song you can have a first dance to. But it is a good walking down the aisle song. So we think we're going to go for that there instead.

The upbeat song that took Pulp's place? 'You Couldn't be Cuter' - but emphatically NOT the Ella version. The one you want is Al Bowlly with Lew Stone and his band. Have a listen. Bloody ace. I also loved this because it's a man singing about how brilliant his lady is.

Then that got slightly knocked off its perch. Guess what did it? Mint Royale 'Don't Falter'. Remember the 90s, kids? Lauren Laverne sings the immortal line 'You must decide/To risk your heart for love to find you' and says something about her fella being 'officially mine' so it's apt. Plus it would get the party started nicely, or more nicely than a slow, sway-ey number. I love this song.

The current final wildcard option? Home, by Edward Sharp and the Magnetic Zeros. A fantastic song, though pretty hard to sway-dance to but we could get some lessons and learn something a bit more upbeat.

Others that would make good first dance songs that crossed our minds: Zorbing, by Stornoway; Be My Baby by the Ronettes (the vaguely traditional choice? Would also require learning to do more than sway.) There are a number of other Phil Spector songs that would also do a decent job here.

A number of National songs have also been discussed, but none ended up in the running. If you want a short song, then you can always go for Laura Marling 'Crawled out of the sea' (an album interlude and about a minute and a quarter). Another contender very early in our relationship was James 'Just like Fred Astaire' but this was rejected because of lyrical uncomfortableness but it could work for you.

Anyway, there you have it. All of these songs were picked for their lyrics. Neither of us can really dance anyway (90% enthusiasm, 10% ability - at most) so we don't mind dancing like idiots to a song that is perhaps a little harder to dance to, but says nice things.

do musicians know what they are doing?

Of course, not in technical terms - of course they do. But I wonder if the potential impactof lyrics and words on a future listener ever crosses the mind of a songwriter.

I realise that's a convoluted sentence.

I've always been a contemplative soppy sod, memorising poems and listening to certain songs on repeat until they are branded onto my brain.

And remember how I said that everything has acquired a new sheen of significance since the ring went on, as if a huge direction sign for life had been planted.

This is a long way of saying that every time I hear a song, I am mentally tapping out the lyrics on a typewriter and pegging them to the bunting at our wedding, or wondering about using it for a first dance. Certain songs have very quickly indeed acquired a lot more meaning.

When bf and I had been together a very short time indeed, we joked that 'Something changed' by Pulp would be the first dance at our wedding, if we ever got hitched. That's still on the list.

And now already, I've decided that the sublime Starlings by Elbow would be a lovely thing to get married to, on the edge of a forest, overlooking beautfiul countryside (this is definitely happening), though only after considering swapping it for the Pulp song as a first dancer.(No lyrics can do it justice. Try to listen to it, you won't regret it.)

And then there's this example, from the sublime Mumford & Sons, in a song that I've listened to 20 times in the past few days for this verse alone:

Love , it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you,
It will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be.
There is a design,
An alignment to cry,
At my heart you see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be

Pathetic, isn't it.