Tuesday, 12 October 2010

this could go one of two ways

So ladies (gents?), I am about to go on holiday for two weeks. This is great news, and also, slightly panic-inducing.

Not that I'm ungrateful for the wonderful holiday. But I am slightly panicking about its effect on my diet, which despite my best efforts, has seen me hover around the same 5lbs for about two months now.

I am surprised at myself for being so bothered. I am both desperate to relax, and desperate not to regain this damnable weight. I can't believe I am worried. I'm disappointed in myself for feeling this way, though will feel mighty disappointed in myself if I gain weight too.

Part of me is planning to make butter, on the basis that I can only eat what I make, and making butter involves a large physical effort, and I'll feel quite proud of myself if I manage it.

Another part of me is planning to go running and walking up massive hills, so that I can eat some cake.

I've never been this worried before. I've always just sodded it and enjoyed myself. I don't really like this at all, and I can only assume it's the natural progression of dichotomous (real word?) thoughts from the post below.

Yes, I am on a diet that allows me to eat as much as I want of most foods. I can have figs, artichokes, wild musrooms, risotto, pasta, potatoes, steak. But sadly, the list doesn't include criossants, stinky and disintegrating french cheese and red wine. Those count. I can have them, but I can't have them with abandon.

Why am I depressed about this? I don't know. I feel pathetic, but may actually cry if I gain more than a couple of lbs.


  1. Don't panic! I know just how you feel. The key really is to try and get a decent amount of walking in each day, while exercising moderation with the food. Do you have time to pick up a pedometer? Aim for 15,000 to 20,000 steps a day and you'll be absolutely fine.

    Trust me, I've managed to break even at the end of a fortnight at Disney World (soooo much food!) simply by pounding the pavement. It's all about the sightseeing!

  2. Oh no that's rubbish that it's spoiling your holiday excitement but I do know what you mean. I lost a stone earlier this year... but without really trying and now I'm slightly panicked by the idea of putting it on again. Are there going to be scales where you're staying? That way you could have a few indulgent days plus walking etc and then you could see the difference (if any) so that would make you feel more relaxed?

  3. Thanks Becca. I managed to lose after five days in Iceland by exercising moderation, walking and LOADS of swimming. I can't swim in France as all the pools are outdoors and closed now, but walking will have to do. I just have to think of all the things I CAN eat, rather than what I can't...

  4. Convopieces - there are no scales. I'm taking kitchen scales but the suggestion I take the others didn't go down well with either J or the diet group leader. I don't know what's best really - take them or just see what happens when I get back...