Monday, 12 April 2010

straightening out

I feel a few things need straightening out after the blog posts and responses of the past few days. I fear I am inadvertently starting to offend people and the thought that I have is upsetting.

First thing: nothing I say on here is any sort of judgement on anyone else. Different things matter to different people. I like blue (love it) and I like co-ordinated flowers and table themes and I like nice hotels. We just wanted to get married on a farm (the boy wanted a hog roast and ale, which = farm) and I'm not so fussed about co-ordinating colours (too indecisive to be honest). I'm not trying to offend anyone else when I say these things. I'm just saying them, as I'd tell a friend. And you know, it's early days - I'm just trying to figure out things for myself too.

When family members got married and these things were present, the weddings were beautiful. All weddings are beautiful. And all weddings are different. And nothing anyone likes or does not like is a judgement on anyone else.

I'm a firm believer that there is no 'right' way to do this. It's just nice that it (ie marriage) happens at all, in any which way. Which is why I like reading wedding blogs, because I feel that those sentiments are generally accepted in this world.

However you want to get wed is your choice. And expressing a preference or aversion to something or other is of course no judgement on anyone else. We don't all have to love or understand everything. We're only human. You might thing getting married on a farm is a bit grubby. You're probably right, but it doesn't put me off.

We don't live in a perfect world where everyone agrees. My mum and partner want me to wear a white (or white-ish) dress (when I thought I'd like a blue one like this) and I thought I might keep my name, but I've decided otherwise on both counts because it matters to people important to me and I can square it with myself (posts for another day, perhaps). But if some bird on a blog suggests she might do things one way, it's no judgement on those of you that want to do them another. In the same way, if you have an expensive wedding, you don't look down on the cheap ones. Cheap wedding people don't get to feel superior to the people who choose to splurge. Your money, your wedding, your choice.

But you pick your battles, and sometimes things other people say have an impact though I hope mine are never hurtful. But on blogs, where we share our thoughts, surely nothing is right or wrong? Apart from being mean and I hope I'm never that.


  1. oops sorry I should probably do a bit of straigtening out myself. Erm I was taking the proverbial Michael with my "oi what is wrong with blue" comment and then the weekend got crazy busy and then my laptop has got itself a virus so I couldn't get back on to tell you I was only joking. Goodness could you imagine if all weddings/people/tastes/ideas/opinions/points of view were the same, wouldn't the world be a dull place. You are getting married on a farm (bliss) I'm getting married in a castle (bliss for me). I would have very much liked a hog-roast but considering I'm marrying a veggie it'd be a little distasteful.
    here here to all the rest. x

  2. That's ok - I thought you were (from the bridesmaid comment!), but there were a few 'eek' comments about the engagement shoot post too, ones that made me think I should say this. And glasgowbride said she was worried about offending people by mentioning conference centre venues, and that made me think I might have done there too. Anyway, it's been bothering me a bit over the weekend so I'm glad I wrote this!

  3. Thank crap for that was worried I was losing my sarcastic edge.

  4. You really shouldn't worry, I re-read both posts to see if they were in any way offensive and they aren't! Plus, the world would be a very boring place if everything had the same thing.

    Anyway, your post inspired me to write one about honesty. We really should stop doing this....

  5. there are far more insulting blogs than yours out there in this wedding world, dont stop writing what you want to write, just put a disclaimer at the top!