Monday, 6 June 2011

becoming a bride redux - part 3

The third part of our series on what it means to 'become a bride' is from Siobhán. Siobhán recently got engaged, and it was her initial tweet asking how she could feel 'more bridal' in line with the expectations of those around her that prompted the discussion that triggered these posts.

Siobhán explains that for her, a sense of being 'bridal' is not something that can happen in isolation - there is no bride without a groom, and it's impossible for her to feel bridal without her other half.

Take it away, Siobhán...

"A few weeks ago I got engaged to the handsome, gorgeous kind and wonderful M. Since before anything happened I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him and I am looking forward to that so much.

"I love being engaged to him and I really look forward to being married to him. In between those things we have a wedding, and I am going to be a bride.

"I never dreamt of weddings growing up, I did not think about getting married much and was pretty uninterested in babies as well to be honest. I thought getting to my twenties and living in an apartment and having my own phone would be grown up enough for me, so the whole 'bridal' thing has always passed me by.

"Last year one of my closest friends got married and she seemed... different. On the day it did seem like something had changed, she seemed somehow more adult, more finished and more content than I have ever seen her. It was incredible to see and brought me to tears, but was something I could not picture myself feeling or being.

"Today I went dress shopping for 'the dress' with my mother and sister. I went with pretty low expectations but when I tried on one dress, I felt something. I felt special, grown up, happy and wanted M there to share that feeling with. I think that might be the beginnings of feeling like a bride.

"I have now been told that this is not enough. I need to try on more dresses, more 'bridal' dresses and see if I get the feeling more. It completely took the feeling away from me. Whatever feeling bridal, or like a bride is, I know it will be incomplete without M: I can't feel like a bride without my groom.

"I'm sure things could change as time goes on, we have a year until the wedding day - maybe one of the millions of dresses I now have to try on will make me feel more like a bride? Or maybe the one today was the one, and I will only feel fully 'bridal' when I am with the person who wants me to be his bride, and wants me to be his wife."


  1. I think this post is so true on so many levels.

    When I got married last December, I don't think I felt that bridal and like Lisa Marie said I only really felt bridal on the day. If that was what the feeling was.

    But I don't think it was. On the day I felt unbelievably happy, excited, nervous, content, surrounded by love and so sure that I was making the best decision of my life.

    While feeling bridal to me just made me feel stressed, pressurised, confused, indecisive and overwhelmed which is totally different.

    In my view feeling bridal is just something that people think you should be feeling and some people will be feeling bridal, because it depends what bridal means to you. For me being a bride was the focus of my day becoming a wife was.

    I think I have somewhat gone off topic...sorry!

    But just to end with, feel how you feel and do what you do. If you feel bridal great, if you don't don't worry about it as long as you are happy that is all that matters.


  2. Sorry made a mistake,

    For being a bride was not the focus of my day becoming a wife was.

    I should check what I type before I post..sorry!

  3. This perhaps explains why I only really felt like a bride when I got married!

  4. Lottie - becoming a wife is the main focus for me too - thank you!

    Claire - thanks for allowing me to post. The other two posts have been really thought provoking.