Monday, 19 July 2010

washing up

So we were trying to have a serious conversation about the act of marriage.

Or rather I was.

J was trying to wash up while I cooked so that we could both sit down and drink beer/gin. I like to do this sometimes – try and have serious chats about marriage at inopportune times – because I’m an idiot, and I worry that we’re not thinking hard enough about it. When of course, that’s not true at all.

This particular conversation centred around the fact that marriage isn’t passive: J had said something about getting married just confirming our relationship and I disagreed. I said that it was something active, something we were making a statement about and a break from our families in order to create something new*. (Note: J didn’t say it wasn’t any of these things. I KNOW he understands this too. But you know, I am an idiot and felt that the point needed reiterating.)

*I may have been reading a few wedding blogs along these lines.

Me: [Very serious] It’s not passive. We’re not just blindly following a path that leads to marriage. We’re actively creating something new. I’m going to be your family, your immediate family. We’re creating a new unit...

Him: [Robotic voice] Unit 5718 has been created. Former units: IRRELEVANT.

And then I started laughing, and told him that if he could just carry on like that, we’d be fine.


  1. He he, that's a good sense of humour your boy has.

    I like your point about creating something new, I also believe that but occasionally get a pang of sadness that I am somehow breaking up my family. It's very stupid.

  2. ha! oh this is funny. i think your man and mine would get along well!

    i totally know what you mean about 'taking it seriously' though. i read a bunch of APW and it's great and has really made me much more mindful (how's that for alliteration!) about marriage and the step we are taking... but it can also make me brig the nutso to my wedding related conversations with the boy when i get panicky that maybe he's not thinking about it all as much as i am.

    but then, last sunday, we were talking about whether to have dinner in front of the tv (like the lazy slobs we are) or at the table and he said 'but it's our sunday night family dinner, we should eat at the table' and that was the first time he called us a family and i knew i didn't have to worry. ahhh...

  3. Boys are rather good sometimes aren't they. It's the little comment that knocks you sideways at that moment which makes you realise how much you love them!

  4. Ha ha, so funny!

    Boys dont take anything seriously!